Symphony of Distraction

Once and Future

Running 'round in circles 
A timer in my hand hoping that someday I'll be fast enough 
This isn't a dilemma 
I'm just bored, unfulfilled and can't associate with anyone 

I'm drinking on a schedule 
To keep it in control so I don't ever have to quit outright 
I'm cutting out amphetamines and coffee after 4 
So I can finally get to sleep at night 

If everything I want is in the future 
And everything I've earned is in the past 
Then all I have now is apologies 
But someday I will learn to please the once and future me

 I Wish I Wasn't

Hit the lights and draw the blinds 
Another night we’ll spend inside 
I know there’s a world out there to explore 
Meanwhile I prefer to hide 
From all of the ones that just might see what it is we do secretly 
Hitting the bricks because you never signed up for this 

I wish I wasn’t the me that you got 
Damaged goods left out by the curb to rot 
The things you’re not saying all screaming the thought 
That this isn’t the me that you want 

A part of me wonders why 
A bigger part already knows 
You deserve the happiness you’re seeking 
And that means I just have to go 
No one to blame, this one’s on me 

I wish I wasn’t the me that you got 
Damaged goods left out by the curb to rot 
The things you’re not saying all screaming the thought 
That this isn’t the me, though I wish I could be 
I’m just not the me that you want

 Progress

There's a cloud of dust that's blocking out the sunlight 
That will soon enough be settled at our feet 
To trap us like quicksand and pull us until we're unable to breathe. 

What do we export the blame to 
When we're all a bearing witness to the crime? 
With cause of complacence and result of bedlam 

I wish we all could wake like none of this had happened 
Another chance to take control we gave away 
I'm trying to explain the purpose of your actions 
But they'll be getting no respect today 
You took our progress and tore it away 

I'll keep in mind that we exist in a bubble 
If you'll acknowledge you gave up listening to any logic long ago 

There's a wave that's coming up on the horizon 
That will soon enough be crashing at our shore 
To pull us all under a blanket of water

 Rain Check

Too busy for lunch, too busy for dinner 
Too busy all times in between 
Never too busy for anyone else 
Just always too busy for me 
I finally get you don’t want to be friends because every time I try 
To make plans to hang out with you I am met with 
The same simple reply 

“How ‘bout a rain check?” 
More like how ‘bout a “no” 
Or how ‘bout a “yours is the last face that I want to see 
Now fuck off and leave me alone” 
Don’t get me wrong 
I appreciate that you’re trying to be polite 
But you might as well say what we both god damn know 
You just want me out of your life

 United Failure

We were seventeen 
So naive 
A ghost of who we'd someday be 
But headed to the point of no return 

Now it's been some years 
We're twenty two 
Barely scraping by but both accepting that you're settling for me 
And I'm settling for you 

Here we go 
I am dropping to one knee like we had planned 
And with this ring I'm giving up on every dream I've ever had 
We're both to blame but I know that we'd agree if we were honest 
That we are one united failure to keep from being both alone

 Don't Try

If it wasn’t fucking this, it’d be something fucking else 
Always some dumb shit fucking up my mental health 
I don’t know if this is the end or a cry for fucking help 
I just know if it wasn’t this, it’d be something fucking else 

Don’t try, do drugs 
Don’t work, it sucks 
Don’t bother going to school unless you plan on dropping out 
Say to hell with voting because your vote doesn’t really count 

It’s all a joke, it’s a lie 
You’ll stay broke, then you’ll die 
But it’s your life so you decide which road you think is best 
Save the world or burn it down 
I couldn’t care less

 Mayday

I don’t care if the sun don’t shine 
And it rains ‘til the end of time 
All it ever did was hurt my eyes 
And I don’t care if this house burns down 
I ain’t trying to get out 
I’ll be gone by the time that I’m found 
Oh I don’t want to be like this 

Mayday, is there a way out of here 
Should I just neglect reason and accept 
This was all a case of shitty luck 
Fighting makes much more sense 
But honestly I feel like giving up 

Oh I don’t want to be like this 
But I guess that’s just how it is

 Legacy

This is our night 
Let's grab our drinks and raise 'em up into the sky 
Let's put our arms around each other one more time 
We'll by the martyrs of a legacy run dry 
Let's make a memory that cures us all 

There are narratives at play 
Each less important than keeping a common resolve 
Not just anyone would stay 
Each year that passes includes one or more moving on 

We're firing with all cylinders aligned 
We're holding off our future like a dam holding onto a tide

 Uncomfortable Shoes

How the hell did I get here 
Just kept on ignoring everything for years 
Hoping it would go away 
Fingers that I pointed now all point this 
Way too tired of fighting myself 

Those these shoes hurt my feet 
Won’t take them off 
Still have so many miles to walk 
Before I’m through 

So many times you tried to help 
I told you “don’t worry, I’ll fix it myself” 
But I never fixed a thing 
An expert in denial and self-medicating 
All those times I should have faced it but I ran 
“Leave me alone” I said 
Now that’s just what I am 

Those these shoes hurt my feet 
Won’t take them off 
Still have so many miles to walk 
Before I say 
I’ve made it to the place I’ve had in mind 
Got to leave some bad habits behind 
Along the way

 Throw it all Away

I could hold on but I grip too tight 
I could see you but my eyes are too wide 
I am winding up to see how far I can throw it all away 
I can throw it all away 

I could speak now but I'd have to write 
I could hear you but the volume's to high 
I am winding up to see how far I can throw it all away 
I can throw it all away 
We can throw it all a...

 You're Not Crazy

Like the doctor told you 
Twice a day you swallow it 
The pills don’t make you smile 
They just make you shit 
The voices that won’t let up with the awful things they say 
They’re lying and trying their damnedest to take you away 

I need you to please stay strong for me 
The thoughts in your head don’t mean that you’re weak 
You feel there’s no coming back but you’re not crazy, you’re just sad 
I need you to get up and out of bed 
And face this day and all the ones ahead 
Believe me when I tell you that you’re not crazy, you’re just sad

 Piece of Shit

Do you remember what I used to call prosperity? 
Can you remember what I used to do for fun? 
It's like a movie made for studio 
Over budget, undersold 
With no one understanding what it was 

But still I'm watching for a better sense of clarity 
And I'm still staring at the faces frozen in time 
It's like a hit parade of "could've been" 
So many better roles if I had stopped myself from fucking up the lines 

I've been a hypocrite for challenging convictions 
A bully to a freshman on the bus 
I've kicked some friends out of the band so I could write more songs 
I'm sorry that I did that to you 

There is a price you pay for acting out insatiably 
There is an emptiness to "take all you can get" 
Now looking back at life and what it was 
The things that I did just because 
I realize that I'm just a piece of shit

 Too Old for Drugs

The drink’s no longer helping now 
And I’m too old for drugs 
My ass is wearing out the couch 
My feet glued to the rug 
I swear that I have tried to move at least a million times 
But there’s nowhere to go 

Except further down into a head that I don’t want to be in no more 
It just shouts, “let’s be done with this” 
And it’s getting so hard to ignore 

Nobody is going to call 
Haven’t seen a soul for days 
Trying to will these walls to fall 
Or for the roof to cave 
I swear that I’ve thought about reaching out a million times 
But I don’t and so I go 

That much further down into a head that I don’t want to be in no more 
It just shouts, “let’s be done with this” 
And it’s getting so hard to ignore now 

The train tracks by my apartment are starting to look like an opportunity 
To rid myself of all that I’ve felt and finally be set free 
Free from everything 
There’s so much that I can’t ignore no more

 Splat

If I thought that every day was going to be like this 
Better believe that I would find and climb the highest bridge 
And fall right off that fucker ‘til my brains went splat 
But every day won’t be like this 
So there’s no sense in doing that

 Going Home

We have all been digging in our separate well 
And the sky is clearing far as I can tell 
The sun's getting brighter 
The days getting longer 
A ladder slowly rolling down to let us up and see what all has changed 
We're all different in ordinary ways 
With patience that's growing and burdens unfolding 
We're feeling more inspired now 

It's been a great visit 
The next one's unknown 
But I've overstayed my welcome and it's time 
I'm going home

Government Warning

 

According to the Surgeon General 
Women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy 
Because of the risk of birth defects 
Consumption of alcoholic beverages Impairs 
Your ability to drive a car or operate machinery 
And may cause health problems 

Union made 
Recyclable aluminum